The more you think about sex the more you want it. Finally, start to move your body and make sounds in ways that enhance your pleasure and engagement. They shut out the rest of the world when it is time for sex! This might sound selfish, but since your arousal is the biggest gift you can give to your partner during sex, getting into yourself first is actually quite generous.
If we don't get worried or preoccupied when it goes down, it can come right back up! When you start having sex, you need to get into yourself first. Next, tune into the sensations in your body and start to make the connection with your pelvic floor -- you can do this by focusing on your pelvic floor or doing Kegel PC squeezes. Don't Panic When Your Arousal Goes Down In bed, we often compare ourselves to men and think that we should just get aroused and that our arousal should build steadily until we orgasm. Women get aroused much more from the psychological aspects of a scene or plot and much less by certain body parts moving in and out of other body parts. You may need to close your eyes at first to really feel your body. Let us know what stories and movies turn you on the most! From an early age we are taught that sex is not for us and that women who are very interested in sex or display their sexuality are sluts. Some of our favorites include Unfaithful , Secretary , and Wild Orchid. Once you have a good idea of what turns you on, tell your partner or share some scenes and stories -- you can do this in bed or as a warm-up before you even get started! Get Into Your Body When women first start engaging in sex, we usually go quickly into trying to connect with and please our partners before we even connect to ourselves and our own body. To get into your body during sex, take some time at the beginning to let your partner give you light, sexy touch while you take slow, deep breaths. Finally, start to move your body and make sounds in ways that enhance your pleasure and engagement. They shut out the rest of the world when it is time for sex! The truth is, women's arousal takes some time to get started and goes up and down during a sexual experience. Our distraction during sex is not surprising. If you are waiting passively for your partner to excite you, you might just wait forever. Well, most women tell us they are not that into porn, and we understand! In our work we have found that, in order for you to get turned on and have intense orgasms, you need to get into your body, allow your arousal to rise and fall, and focus on sexy thoughts and fantasies. Whether you fantasize a lot or not at all, the brain loves new inspiration so we suggest you check out some movies or stories, either by yourself or with your lover, that you can use to lubricate your brain and get your head ready and excited for sex! This might sound selfish, but since your arousal is the biggest gift you can give to your partner during sex, getting into yourself first is actually quite generous. This slut-shaming causes us to turn off our connection to our sexuality and desire which makes it very hard to get excited during sex. So where can you find these sexy stories, images and ideas? We women, on the other hand, can get very distracted during sex, which is one of the reasons that we don't get aroused or have orgasms as easily. Get Your Head in the Game If you really want to get hot during sex you can begin feeding yourself with images and stories that get your juices flowing. The videos and images that turn us on the most don't come from porn, they come from highly erotic but non-pornographic movies. With these three tools, you can take matters into your own hands!
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