If they enjoy anal stimulation for pleasure, they often worry that they might be gay. When used in reference to heterosexual and lesbian sex , the terms top, bottom and versatile usually refer only to position and not to the penetrative role. Versatility is a unique and important feature of male anal sex. But what if a guy isn't a top, a bottom or even versatile?
Bottoms get talked about, even dismissed, as if they were women. They secretly believe that they should be engaging in and enjoying anal sex, and that something must be wrong with them if they are not. Yes, some do, but most don't. Straight men labor under the same misconception. It doesn't make anyone any less of a sexual human being. Versatility is a concept of lifestyle. Often they won't publicly admit to not engaging in anal sex, because of the judgments that other gay men might and most likely will make about them. Sexual Shame and Masculinity Sides typically struggle with tremendous feelings of shame. If a man has undergone prostate surgery that caused nerve damage to the penis or suffers from hemorrhoids or other issues that make anal penetration impossible, uncomfortable or unappealing, then that physiological or medical reason takes most of the shame out of being a side. They must learn other ways to satisfy their partners. Acts which were not divisible into distinct roles however, such as "69" or "anything" followed a pattern where one flagged interest by wearing the hanky on the right, uninterest by wearing it on the left, and preferences that did not relate to sexual mechanics, such as uniform fetishism or prostitution, followed a pattern where the seeker flagged on the left and the object of desire flagged on the right. It's high time for sides to come out and feel proud and secure about their sexuality. Versatile[ edit ] Versatile refers to a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming, or being dominant and submissive, and may alternate between the two in sexual situations. Historically, lesbians were told that with no vaginal penetration, they were not having "real" sex and even today, some still are told this. The opportunity for anal pleasure exists in men and women alike, whether they are gay, bisexual, straight or of any orientation in between. Versatility is a unique and important feature of male anal sex. Top[ edit ] A top is usually a person who engages in the penetrative role during sexual activity; for men who have sex with men MSMs , this often involves penetration using the penis during anal or oral sex. BDSM seems to have adopted and derived these terms as loan words from gay culture. There's so much talk and discussion about who gives and who receives. Some may even enjoy receiving or giving anal stimulation with a finger, but nothing beyond that. If they enjoy anal stimulation for pleasure, they often worry that they might be gay. The study also found that the actor with the larger penis was more likely to act as the top. Whether a man enjoys anal sex or not is no reflection on his sexual orientation, and if he's gay, it doesn't define whether or not he's "really" having sex. A Austrian study on gay pornography has shown that at least The popular assumption is that the majority prefer to bottom and that those who prefer to top are in the minority.
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